Listening Circles and other Group Listening Spaces

What is a “Listening Circle”?

There are several types of “listening circle”, in general it is an in-person or online space where participants are invited to share their thoughts and importantly their feelings in relation to a specific situation or topic. Usually the group will be no bigger than around 10 people, if larger people would be invited into smaller groups to support a sense of trust and to enable everyone to have an opportunity to speak. There are usually one or two facilitators whose job it is to “hold the space”, i.e. to direct the structure of the sharing, to keep time boundaries and to respond sensitively to the needs of individuals and the whole group.

Starting the Circle

The circle may start with a short check-in or participants just sharing something simple in the chat. A listening circle is not a conversation or an exchange, instead people take turns to speak uninterrupted, often for a specific time (3,5 whatever minutes). It is an important part of the process for the speaker to be given the full attention of the other members of the group.When a participant has come to the end of their allotted time or has finished what they want to share, the facilitator can simply thank the person, or invite a pause for the rest of the group to consider what is being said, or sometimes reflect back or respond with a few words to what has been spoken.

No advice or solutions

There is no attempt to solve, give advice or to give an opinion on what has been shared. If other members of the group start to share advice or aim to start a discussion around what someone else has shared, the facilitator will gently remind the group that this is a space for people simply to be heard.

Another person in the circle can then take a turn to speak, sharing their feelings and experience. The opportunity to share is passed around the circle until everyone who wants to speak has done so, usually people are not pressed to speak if they simply want to listen.

After one round of sharing there will often be another round and the facilitators will often invite a short check out usually including an opportunity for participants to share how they have found the circle.

Responding to the particular need

“Listening Circles” can be offered or structured in relation to a perceived need . So in XR sometimes a listening circle may be offered as a support for rebels to manage the various challenges of being alive in the world as it is and the difficulties of being an activist. Sometimes a listening circle may be offered in relation to some difficulty that has happened in or to a circle or group, or to the movement as a whole.

In some listening circles people may be simply invited to share whatever is on their heart and mind at the time or there may be a specific topic.

Example of Facilitator’s introduction to a listening circle

As in all groups facilitators would check out inclusivity needs.

• Listening Circles offer space to think and feel; a haven from busyness and activity. Sharing feelings in a supportive setting helps to build our resilience to help us continue our work in a sustainable way.
• We can share our feelings about the climate and ecological crisis, our work as climate activists, or whatever is in the forefront of minds and hearts.
• We will be co-facilitating, and participating. Our role is to pay attention to the process and to keep us to task.
• We are not experts or leaders. (Facilitators share the structure and timing of the group, e.g 90 mins with check-in 2 rounds of sharing and check out).
• This is not a therapy group, so bring what you feel comfortable bringing. We aren’t rushing away at the end, so we’ll be available for anyone who wants a separate chat. (N.B. It is important that facilitators don’t take responsibility for supporting individuals after a listening circle but rather signpost them to support e.g. TESN tesn@tesn.uk, or the Climate Psychology Alliance).
• We have no intention of leading you to any conclusion or course of action.
• There is an aim for this to be an open, respectful and confidential space where people can feel safe enough to express their views.
• The focus is our thoughts and feelings rather than what we are doing or think people should do. All feelings are welcome.

We have some ground rules we would like you to agree to:

• Please listen respectfully when people are talking and resist temptation to multitask.
• We would ask that people stay on screen unless neurodiverse preferences or other needs make that uncomfortable/not possible.
• Please speak from our own experience, using I statements when appropriate.
• Please respect other’s views, not trying to assert a point of view
• Confidentiality - please do not share anyone elses material outside this circle.
• Are there any other ground rules group members would like?

Examples of different kinds of listening circles.

Here are a few examples of different kinds of listening spaces.

A grief circle is a listening space where people are invited to share their grief. This may be personal or relating to a particular situation or our grief about the earth.

Some of us have a strong resistance to feeling and sharing our sadness about our lives and the plight of the planet. However, it is important for our emotional resilience that we find ways to do this. A grief circle is one place that we can support each other with that.

The artist Chris Jordan believes that when we try to be cheerful and suppress our grief for the world, we’re also suppressing our love for it. “Grief and love can be seen as inseparable twins,” he writes “When we hold grief at a distance, our love becomes inaccessible; and when we embrace grief, we reconnect with the essential aspect of our being that has gone missing.”

Professor of environmental humanities Jennifer Atkinson says “Eco-grief and anxiety arise from the recognition that our existence and wellbeing are entwined with other lives — an insight that’s fundamentally missing from our modern worldview and consumer way of life. Remembering how intimately our lives are bound up with others will be key to undoing this legacy and ensuring our collective survival.”

A climate cafe is a listening circle where participants are invited to share feelings about the climate and ecological crisis. Within XR these circles have been run both for Rebels and for the general public to encourage engagement with the Climate and ecological crisis. They are set up in a particular way and usually involve serving drinks and cake like a cafe. If online people can be invited to bring their own!

This particular form of listening space has been developed by the Climate Psychology Alliance and they run circles, and offer training and supervision for others who are running circles. https://www.climatepsychologyalliance.org/index.php/component/content/article/climate-cafe-listening-circle?catid=16&Itemid=101

XR Health and XR Buddhists both offer Climate Cafe’s.

Empathy Circles

Empathy Circles are a particular kind of listening space where there is a next step for the participants to connect with each other. Instead of simply “ listening respectfully” to what people say as they take turns around the circle, the speaker chooses one listener who reflects back to them what they have heard the listener share. This process tends to lead to the speaker feeling truly listened to in a profound way. Empathy circles have been developed by Edwin Rutsch.

They were run through XR Global for a time but they are not run through XR at the moment.

How to do a basic Empathy Circle

In a circle or break out room of 3-5 participants.

• The first person selects who they will speak to.
• They speak for whatever comes up for them for a set time (3-5) minutes. There may be a given topic or not.
• The listener reflects back what they are hearing until the speaker feels heard and understood.
• It is then the listener’s turn to select who they want to listen to reflect back to them.
• Everyone holds the process by monitoring and sticking to the steps. Often groups decide to have facilitators to hold the process.

Speakers

• Pause often to give the listener a chance to reflect back what they heard.
• After speaking and receiving the reflections from the listener, you may say “I feel fully heard" to show that you are finished.

Active Listener/Reflector

• In your own words reflect back the essence of what you hear.
• You can ask the speaker to pause from time to time to give you a chance to reflect back .
• It’s important not to ask questions or judge, analyse, advise or sympathise. Silent Listeners
• Listen and be present to the exchange between the speaker and reflector listener. It is advisable to get some experience of being in Empathy circles before running one. There is also online training available. https://www.empathycircle.com

Empathy Pairs

Empathy pairs/trios based on empathy circles, can be useful for a “deeper check-in” in an ordinary meeting or at the beginning of a workshop as a way of contributing to a sense of community and safety.

• Introduce yourself if necessary, Choose A and B .

• Sit quietly together for a minute or two and just noticing what is here for you…feelings, thoughts, mood, as best you can, being open to what is stirring in you.

• Person A shares for 4 minutes as much as they are comfortable with in relation to how they are currently feeling.

• Person B says nothing but actively listens with heart and body to really try and understand how it is for A at this time…keeps time, signals when one minute is left.

• Then B feeds back what they have heard /understood, not solving or advising or sharing their own version of the situation. Make it tentative e.g. 'it sounds like...' (2 mins)

• Then A clarifies anything not quite right and adds anything important. (2 mins) B listens again.

• Then B feeds back anything additional they have heard and A clarifies anything necessary. B checks with A whether they have felt heard. (3mins)

• Pause, then doing the same the other way around.

• Timings can be changed to suit the situation.