Reviewing the Activities
Activity 1: Identifying Feelings
Please note - these are not examples of NVC, but only of the feeling component.
‘I feel anxious when no one at work responds to my suggestions.’
‘I feel very puzzled about how you can do such a thing.’
‘I feel concerned that this happened to you. I would have been furious if it had been me.’
‘I feel exhausted.’
‘I feel pleased and proud to have my own car and paycheck.’
‘I feel regret in how I am behaving toward them.’
‘I feel upset because I think you are annoying me on purpose.’
Activity 2: What is my need here?
Example translation into an observation, feeling and need: ‘When I hear that none of us got a call from her, I feel discouraged because I want to be able to count on us carrying through with agreements we make together.”
Universal needs: reliability, trust, integrity
Universal needs: competence, acceptance, respect
Universal needs: mutuality, consideration, efficiency
Universal needs: safety, integrity, competence
Universal needs: stimulation, purpose, challenge
Universal needs: respect, community, support
Universal needs: consideration, connection, stimulation
Universal needs: inclusion, warmth, community
Activity 4: Empathy Exercises
Suggested responses to scenario A:
“It's probably because you have a lot of tension when you are anticipating something important. Or maybe it's a combination of stress, lack of sleep, and the caffeine that's causing your headache.”
“I really feel for you. it's the worst thing to have a horrible headache when you are about to do an important presentation!”
“Why don't you take this ice pack and lie down for about 10 minutes?”
“Are you frustrated because he would really like to be feeling energetic, healthy, and clear-headed for this presentation?”
Suggested responses to scenario B:
“Are you referring to my going ‘Oh no, oh no, oh no’ when Peter pointed to the map?”
“Are you feeling irritated because you want everyone to be heard?”
“Would you like for us to go around and hear from everyone before I speak again?”